Kelly’s betrothed had returned to him and he could see no reason for any further delay of their wedding after so long an engagement. Isabella had become very enamoured with Annie and took great delight in planning the wedding and making all the arrangements, including a seamstress for Annie’s gown. As she said to Annie, she would never have the pleasure of seeing children of her own married. Annie had always thought she would be married in the Catholic church but she agreed to having the wedding in the Anglican church, for Kelly’s sake and the Dilworths’.
It was a proper church wedding at Saint Mark’s in Remuera. Kelly would happily have married in a registry office but was willing to go through with a church wedding because it was what Annie wanted and also it pleased the Dilworths, who had been so supportive and generous. Kelly had no objection either to a prenuptial meeting with Reverend Heywood and making a declaration of faith in the God of the Bible.
As a soldier, Kelly had faced death several times and at the prospect of meeting his maker he never failed to utter a quick prayer. As muddled and inarticulate as they may have been, they were prayers born not just of fear but also of faith. He had always believed in a supreme being, creator of the universe, but also wondered why God had become so remote from His creation. Where was He in the midst of all the injustice and suffering in the world? Kelly doubted if God was to be found in the church but he would satisfy the requirements of the church in good conscience to sanctify his marriage. He would repeat the vows and obtain the blessing of the church and hopefully the blessing of God Himself, having put the affair with Pania behind him.
It was a small but formal ceremony. Kelly invited a few parishioners in his own neighbourhood that he had got to know: the Taits, the Osbornes, the Bucklands, and Secombe, the brewer; all well known to the Dilworths, of course. And Rāwiri. James Dilworth, as a stand-in father of the bride, led Annie into the church on his arm. She looked quite angelic in her white gown, with its flowing train and gauzy veil. Kelly wore a suit on the day for the first time in his life, complete with a long frock coat and a top hat. It was either a suit or the uniform of the Imperial Army, which he swore he would never wear again.
Reverend Heywood welcomed the wedding party with a benediction, which Kelly had heard before, the same words that Ᾱwhina had spoken when he left her at Te Kuiti:
May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the Love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.
The vicar then began the ceremony with the words:
In the presence of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
we have come together
to witness the marriage of Anne Marie Gallagher and Finbar Tomas Kelly,
to pray for God’s blessing on them,
and to celebrate their love.
He spoke of the Holy Spirit as though he were a real person and actually present with them and spoke of grace and blessings as though they were supernatural powers to bring protection and good things into the lives of believers. Kelly had never considered that the words of the Bible had a real life outside of the Bible.
Of the various scriptures that the Reverend read during the ceremony, one in particular, from Ecclesiastes, struck a chord with Kelly:
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?
Kelly could not help thinking of the many nights Pania had warmed his bed.
Before leading the bridal couple in their exchange of vows Reverend Heywood made the customary announcement:
If there is anyone present who can show just cause why these two persons may not be joined in matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.
He completed the formality and was about to move on to the exchange of vows and rings, when a voice boomed from the back of the church, “I will speak.”
A Māori couple made their way to the front, the man gripping the arm of the young woman, leading her, almost dragging her, he with a tattooed face and she with eyes downcast. “I am Hamana Winiata,” he said, “and this is my sister Pania. She is carrying Kelly’s child.”
Gasps and murmuring reverberated around the church.
“Is this true?” the priest asked Kelly.
“I – I don’t know,” Kelly stammered.
“Is it possible?” the priest asked.
“It may be,” Kelly said.
Reverend Heywood addressed the congregation: “This is very unexpected. I – We must adjourn for a moment, if you will excuse us.” He then led Kelly, Annie and the two unexpected guests into the adjoining vestry. Hamana pulled Pania’s dress tightly against her bulging belly and said, “You see?”
The congregation ceased their murmuring and looked expectantly to the vicar when he alone reappeared after a few minutes. “I regret to say the wedding is off,” he said, “at least for now,” he added as a hopeful afterthought.
Isabella was in tears. “Yes I knew of it,” Dilworth told her. “But no, I didn’t know she was pregnant.”
“I’m sorry,” Pania said, as she and Hamana left by the side door.
“Yes Annie, I have committed a sin,” Kelly said disconsolately. “I’ve confessed it before God and I believe He has forgiven me. Can you not also forgive me?”
Annie removed her veil, which now seemed ridiculous, and wiped the tears from her eyes. “Maybe in time, but I can’t forgive you today, and I can’t go through with the wedding, not when I’ve been humiliated like this. Why did it have to happen like this?”
“Because Hamana still hates me.”
“What have you done to him?”
“I fought against him in a war that stole his land.”
“The honourable thing would be for you to marry the girl.”
“That’s not what I want.”
“What will become of the child?” Annie asked.
“The Māori way is for the whānau to bring up the child.”
“The whānau?”
“The extended family.”
“And isn’t Hamana part of the whānau?”
“Yes, but Ᾱwhina, the elder sister, is the matriarch, and Hamana is the black sheep… so to speak,” Kelly added, conscious of the irony.
“And what will become of us?” Annie sighed. “I saved myself for marriage, for you. I thought you would have done the same. I left everything to come here to the end of the earth. I’ve even become a Protestant, for God’s sake! What will become of us?”
Kelly fidgeted uncomfortably in his suit. “Well, that depends on you,” he said.
At least Annie had stopped crying. She had regained the steel that Kelly had admired in her back when they were first courting. “I won’t be going home to mother, that’s for certain,” she said.” But I believe I have a home with the Dilworths. You can support me till I can make my own way here. As you said, it’s a land of opportunity.”
This wasn’t working out at all as Kelly had planned but hopefully Annie would come around in time. She left with the Dilworths and a few guests lingered outside the church with Reverend Heywood. Isabella sat by Annie in the coach where the groom should have been. “Such a shame,” she said, grasping Annie’s hand. “I mean he’s brought shame on himself.”
“It’s a shame the way things have turned out,” Annie said. “I had such romantic notions.”
Rāwiri found Kelly sitting alone in the vestry.
“Are they staying with you?” Kelly said. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Hamana asked me to keep it a surprise,” Rāwiri said. “I didn’t know he was going to do that. Now they’re going back to Te Kuiti.”
“Well, it was a surprise, all right,” Kelly sighed.
*
A message was conveyed from Annie to Isabella, to James Dilworth, to Kelly, that he should discontinue his visits to Annie at the Dilworths. Well, maybe he should marry Pania if Annie would not have him now. No, that’s not how it was meant to be. What to do? Wait till this debacle blows over and then what? He had waited so long. He would wait a little longer. Wait and hope. He would attend church on Sunday, every Sunday and he would see her there. He would show good faith. He would show contrition. Well, he was contrite and he had a genuine faith. Surely, they would see that. God would see it anyway. God sees the heart of man, the deceitful heart, the heart of faith and the broken heart.
With the help of the Dilworths, Annie found employment as a nanny with the Buckland family and moved into their home. Alfred Buckland, a wealthy land owner and businessman, had nine children by his first marriage and another seven young children by his second. Kelly knew Buckland as a business acquaintance and got news of Annie from him and Dilworth. She had settled into the household well, and the children love her, Buckland said. Kelly saw Annie at church and through his regular attendance he gradually became less of a pariah, though there were still those in the church who shunned him.
One Sunday morning he was feeling too despondent and morose to go to church. He stayed at home and then went for a solitary walk on the beach. After all, he could read his Bible and pray at home, or anywhere for that matter, and he could worship God in the beauty of His creation. He strolled barefoot along the sand at Saint Mary’s Bay at the very place where, years before, he’d attended a duel.
The following Sunday he returned to church, as he resolved not to be put off by a few hypocritical, holier-than-thou members of the congregation. He joined in the singing of the hymns and found, as usual, that being a part of the corporate worship was uplifting to his spirit. After the service he was talking with Dilworth when Isabella and Annie joined them. James and Isabella broke off into their own conversation and Kelly spoke to Annie for the first time since the aborted wedding. It was awkward and polite, as though they were distant acquaintances.
“Hello, Annie. You’re looking well.”
“Hello Finbar. How is Pania?”
“I don’t know. She’s gone back to Te Kuiti and I don’t have any contact.” Kelly drew nearer and said, “Annie, we’ve got to get past this. Come for a walk now and we can have a proper talk.”
“I can’t, not today. The Bucklands are going out and I have to supervise the children.”
“Next Sunday then. Make the arrangements… please.”
“I don’t know. I’ll pray about it.”
“So will I,” Kelly said. And with that he went home to his empty house. The following Sunday he started courting all over again.
*
Dilworth took Rāwiri under his wing as he had with Kelly and the young man quickly became another asset to Dilworth’s agricultural enterprises. Rāwiri also adapted well enough to life in Auckland but because of the difficulties of travel and communications between Auckland and the King Country he felt cut off from his whānau. He particularly missed his mother. Dilworth was very aware of their close bond and was perfectly agreeable to Rāwiri making the journey back to Te Kuiti. Kelly was also quietly keen for any news, especially as the time had come, by his reckoning, for Pania to give birth. Dilworth gave Rāwiri a letter to show anyone who sought to detain him that he was on official company business. He wished him Godspeed, and added, “but don’t tarry too long.”
*
Rāwiri was gone for about three weeks and returned looking downcast with the news he had to deliver. “My Auntie Pania died in childbirth. There was something wrong with the whenua, the placenta. She had seizures; she went into a coma and died.”
This news struck Kelly like a punch in the guts and yet he thought, how curious that the same word, whenua, means both placenta and land.
“My grandmother died of the same sickness, giving birth to Pania,” Rāwiri continued. “Maybe a curse in our family, the line of the women.”
“It may be a case of eclampsia,” Dilworth suggested.
“And what of the baby?” Kelly said.
“Māmā prayed to God to remove the curse, to spare Pania, but He took her and spared the baby. There’s a wet nurse in the whānau caring for him.”
Him. So, a baby boy.
Kelly and Dilworth both expressed their condolences.
“There have been many deaths,” Rāwiri said.
“How is Ᾱwhina?” Kelly asked.
“Saddened of course, but bearing up. Continuing with the struggle.”
The political struggle or the struggle that is life? Both, Kelly supposed.
*
Kelly had begun to see Annie more than just on Sundays after church and things were getting back to the way they had been. They had not mentioned Pania again, not until the news of her death.
“Well, I suppose you’re free of her now,” Annie said.
“I didn’t need to be free of her. I wasn’t… (What was the right word?) attached.”
“Did you love her?”
“Not in the way I think you mean. Not in the way I love you. It was not a romance. If you think it’s a kind of closure then we are free after all to get married.”
“And what of the child?”
“He will be a whāngai, adopted by the family, by Ᾱwhina and the whole whānau.”
Kelly and Annie agreed they would first go to Reverend Heywood for godly counselling. The good Reverend was happy for the wedding to proceed but Kelly said he first wished to be baptised.
“Were you not baptised as an infant?” The Reverend asked.
“Yes, I was,” Kelly replied, “but that was just a christening. It was not the baptism of repentance and new life in Christ.”
“Quite so,” the Reverend agreed, “but we believe infant baptism is sufficient, providing you adhere to the faith. However, I am willing to baptise you in the church if you will recite the creed.”
“Actually I’d like to be baptised in the sea, not just a sprinkling of water, but a proper dunking, as John the Baptiser and the apostles baptised the first believers. To signify the death of the old nature and the birth of the new.”
“It’s not the way we normally do things here but I have no objection to following the precedent set by the Lord himself,” the Reverend said, and he added, “I commend you for your study of the Bible and for your commitment, Finbar.”
The following Sunday afternoon Reverend Heywood baptised Finbar Kelly by full immersion in the sea at Saint Mary’s Bay in the presence of a small group of witnesses from among the church family. The Sunday after that he delivered a sermon on the themes of love and forgiveness. He read from First Corinthians 13:
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not easily provoked, it keeps no record of wrongs (with particular emphasis); does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
At the end of the sermon Reverend Heywood announced the upcoming wedding of Kelly and Annie. A murmur of general approval and perhaps of relief emanated from the congregation and before leaving the church the couple were congratulated by various friends and acquaintances, with a few making comments such as: ‘Finally’ and ‘This time, eh.’
The ceremony was a rerun of the previous, months before, beginning with
In the presence of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, we have come together again…
All went smoothly, with a moment of tension at the point of If there is anyone present who can show just cause… and an audible sigh of relief as the bridal couple completed their vows and Reverend Heywood proceeded to, I now pronounce you husband and wife.