Opportunity Knocks
Denny wakes up to persistent knocking at the door. He nudges Ian and says, “Go see who it is and if it’s the Jaydubs tell them to fuck off.”
“It’s probably some charity wanting money for the blind or retards or the starving in Africa,” Ian says.
“Well go and see,” Denny says.
“Just ignore it. They’ll give up and go away.”
But still the knocking persists and a voice at the door calls out to Denny.
“Who’s that?” Ian asks Denny.
“It’s Gina, my sister. What the fuck does she want?”
Gina knocks again.
“All right, keep your hair on.” Denny pulls on his underpants and shambles to the front door. He unlocks and opens the door and squints into the midmorning light. Blocking the light is a dishevelled thirty-something woman with a swollen and blackened eye.
“I need a place to stay,” she says, and she brings her bags inside.
“What happened? Did Mike kick you out?”
“No I walked out.”
“After he gave you the bash. I told you he was an asshole. Have you got any smokes?”
Gina gives him a packet from out of her bag.
“And a lighter?”
She rummages in her bag and says, “Sorry, no.” Then she goes into the kitchen and puts the jug on for a pot of tea. “Haven’t you got any food?” she says, looking through the cupboards.
“There’s some instant noodles,” Denny says, bending over an element on the stove to light his cigarette. “If you’re going to stay here you can buy us some food.”
Gina pours two cups of tea, clears away dirty dishes into the sink and sits at the Formica dining table. The kitchen and dining are one long room with a door at both ends.
Ian appears at the other, wan and wiry, pulling up his jeans and says, “Hi Gina. Oh, that looks sore. Is there another cup in the pot?”
“Gina’s gonna crash in the spare room till she finds somewhere else,” Denny informs Ian. “And she’s gonna get us some food from the dairy. Bread, milk, eggs, bacon, more smokes.” Then turning to Gina he says, “and don’t forget a lighter.”
“What did your last slave die of?” Gina says.
“He’s not dead yet,” Denny says. “You’re still alive, eh Ian. Hard to tell sometimes.”
Gina finishes her tea, puts on her sunglasses and walks to the shop.
*
Denny is a sickness beneficiary. He had been working with his mate Greg Axelrod, doing household removals. Greg has a HT licence and he leases a moving truck. Denny helped with the loading and unloading. All the heavy lifting has given him a back injury.
Denny’s got into the habit of getting up late and staying up late. He likes having the place to himself during the day but now Gina is there some days. Gina left school at sixteen, officially at sixteen, but hadn’t attended school regularly since fourteen. She often stayed at home to look after her younger brothers and sisters while her mother worked and then joined her mother working as a cleaner at the hospital.
Gina has a few cleaning jobs now, which bring in a bit of money. She’s sound asleep when Denny checks on her later and picks up her handbag on the floor next to the mattress. He borrows a few smokes but leaves the money and goes through her cell phone, checking messages, contacts and memos, just as he also checks Ian’s phone. He transfers a few names and addresses, along with four digit numbers, from Gina’s phone into his.
*
It’s Monday. Ian’s gone to work, stocking shelves at Pak n Save. Ian’s got a BA in Classics and Art History, a completely useless degree, by his own admission, and he has no personal ambition whatsoever. Since getting into various pharmaceuticals his intelligence has been diverted into pareidolia and paranoia. He’s concerned that his mental state is somehow out of kilter and feels the routine and predictability of working regular hours is important to his equilibrium.
Gina usually works on Monday but not this day. “No work today, Gina?” Denny says.
“No, the family’s gone away on holiday.”
“Which family is that?”
“The Hendersons.”
On Wednesday after Gina goes to work, Denny takes a drive to the Hendersons. A flash house down a long tree-lined right of way. No nosy neighbours close by. Gloves on. Jemmy the window into the garage. 1963 on the alarm keypad. Probably a birth date. Bingo! The red light goes off. Open the garage door. Drive in. Load up: computer, laptop, TV, jewellery, wine, leather jackets, guitar. Job done. Piece of cake. Make a cup of coffee. Reset the alarm. They’ll wonder why it didn’t go off.
Denny sends his old mate JK a text message saying Got some stuff to trade. JK replies Ok be here at 11:00. Denny drives through town to Greenwood Street and some fuckwit on a scooter piddles along in front of him, changing lanes, holding him up. Denny thinks to cut him off to teach him a lesson but thinks better of it, not to attract attention while he’s still got the goods on board. He drives round the back of JK’s to his lock up garage and offloads the goods. JK unlocks the steel door to the storeroom. Denny turns around and faces the gun cabinet, while JK dials the combination on the safe. Denny gets a grand in the hand and a gram of P. The goods are worth far more and JK moves them for a good margin and trades a reliable product.
Denny arrives home with dinner: Indian takeaways and a few bottles of wine. “There you go,” he says, spreading the table with butter chicken, korma, rice and naan bread. “Get the glasses, Ian, will you.”
“To what do we owe this largess?” says Ian, placing three glasses on the table. “Is it someone’s birthday?”
“No, Greg paid up some back pay he owed me.”
After dinner Denny gets out a glass pipe, lighter and a small snap lock plastic bag. “Care for a spot?” he says, sprinkling some crystals into the bowl.
Ian says, “Sure” and Gina says, “No.” She also says, “I didn’t know you were into P.”
“Don’t look so disapproving,” Denny says.
“I’m just disappointed,” Gina says.
“Who are you to be disappointed?” says Denny. “Who are you to judge? What the fuck would you know, anyway?”
“I’ve seen how it’s fucked up Mike and his mates.”
“Well, some people just can’t handle it,” Denny says and draws the flame of the lighter into the bowl.
“And you can, I suppose,” Gina says.
“Yeah, it’s like oxygen for me. It’s like pure energy.”
“Whatever. I’m going out for a walk.”
“Good job. You won’t be hanging about being all sour and bitchy.”
Denny and Ian settle on the sofa. Denny takes a draught and hands the pipe to Ian. A ball of smoke swirls in the bowl and shoots into Ian’s lungs, into his blood, into his brain. He dials up some music on his cell phone with his ear buds in and dances around the room with the abandon of a Corybant. He then becomes absorbed with his phone, goes to the window and opens it to look into the sky.
“What are you looking for?” Denny laughs.
“Constellations, satellites, chemtrails and electromagnetic radiation. Damn 5G is killing us, getting into our brains and into our DNA and spreading Covid.”
Denny and Ian dine on the energy of the P till late into the night till it fizzes out and they sink into bed like spilled oil.
Come Saturday they’re at the Lion, drinking beer and shooting pool when Denny spots Lance Livingstone and says, “What the fuck’s he doing here?”
“Haven’t seen him around for a while,” Ian says, “but why wouldn’t he be here?”
“Didn’t you know he’s gone all religious. Praise God Alleluiah,” Denny says derisively and rolls his eyes.
Lance spots Denny and Ian and joins them at their stand up table. “Hey guys, how’s it going?”
“Yeah, all right,” Ian says.
“Didn’t expect to see you here,” Denny says.
“Why not?”
“Now that you’ve joined the God squad you wouldn’t want to be hanging out with us sinners.”
“Jesus hung out with sinners,” Lance says.
“Well, you’re not Jesus,” Denny says.
“Far from it,” Lance agrees.
Denny tops up Lance’s glass from his jug and says, “What does Jesus say about drinking?”
“He said don’t get drunk.”
“What does he say about being gay.”
“He says it’s sexual sin. But adultery and fornication are also sexual sin.”
“Well then,” Denny says, “you’re fucked too. You’ve done a lot of fornicating.”
“Yeah I did, but that’s in the past. I’ve repented of those sins.”
“Very convenient,” Denny sneers.
“It’s God’s grace,” Lance says.
“So I’m still a sinner,” Denny says, “and I’m gonna go to hell.”
“Not for me to judge.But we’ll all face judgement.”
“Who’s the judge?”
“God.”
“God, Shmod. This is all a load of bollocks, Lance. Don’t fucking preach to me.”
“I’m just answering your questions.”
Denny’s been watching the coins on the pool table and he says, “Well, if you’ll excuse me, Rev. our game’s come up. Your break, Ian.”
Denny and Ian score an easy win and see off another challenger and then Mike and JK step up to the table.
Mike slams the break and watches the balls scatter round the table. Nothing down. He looks to Denny and says, “Where’s that sister of yours?”
“Gina? Dunno mate. I thought she was shacked up with you.”
“She was but she took off.”
“Why would she do that?”
“Dunno. You tell me.”
They both watch Ian sink a succession of striped balls.
“That little faggot can shoot pool,” Mike remarks to JK.
JK says, “Take it easy, Ian, I wanna take a shot.” He does get a turn but it’s a near miss. His ball judders the cushions of a corner pocket and pops out.
Mike says, “Ha, bet you would of got it in if it had hair around it.”
Between shots JK asks Denny, “You looking to score another deal?”
“Yeah, but I don’t have the cash at the moment.”
“You know I don’t do credit. Let me know when you’ve got it.”
“I’m gonna do over the same place again after they’ve replaced all their goods with new stuff. It’ll be worth more.”
*
Gina turns up at the Hendersons again after they get back from their holiday. She gets the news about the burglary and the cops are there. They show her a list of what was stolen and ask a lot of questions, starting with her full name and address. Then: “Have you been to the house since the last day you did the cleaning? Have you seen anyone with any of those things? Have you seen anyone who suddenly had a lot of money? Have you told anyone else the code for the alarm?”
Of course not and she doesn’t like the insinuation that she would be dishonest or careless or in any way connected to the burglary. Gina thinks no more about it till the same thing happens at the Buckinghams and again Denny is flush with money and drugs. Now she’s really under suspicion with the cops and she loses her cleaning jobs. She confronts Denny about it and he says he doesn’t know anything about any fucking burglaries. “You better drum up some more work,” he says, “if you’re going to pay your way. In the meantime you can give this place a good clean. And make us a cup of coffee, will you?”
“Make it yourself. I’m not your servant. And don’t expect any money from me. It’s your fault I lost my jobs.”
“I guess you’ll be moving out then.”
“Just as soon as I find another place. And I’ll go back to my job at the hospital.”
*
It’s early Friday morning and again there is someone knocking at the door, which rouses Denny from his sleep. “Gina can get it this time,” he mutters. Which she does and Denny hears a loud voice announcing himself as Detective Sergeant Hancock, with a warrant to search the premises for stolen property and he starts reading Gina her rights.
“Fuck! It’s the pigs,” Denny says, and he and Ian hurriedly get dressed. Denny puts on his shoes and crushes his glass pipe, then kicks the shards under the bed. He opens the door and finds four cops in the living room. DS Hancock shows his badge and warrant and orders everyone to sit on the sofa. It’s the same overweight, middle-aged cop who questioned Gina at the Hendersons.
“This your room?” he asks Gina, opening her door. “The name on the tenancy agreement is Dennis Halliday. Is that your husband?”
“No, he’s my brother.”
“Is that you?” he asks Denny, “and do you live here too?” he asks Ian. “Name?”
“Ian Skidmore.”
One of the cops stands over the three suspects, who are now all smoking. The others scour the house. The DS goes into the main bedroom and finds it murky and fusty with the light obscured by a blue sheet pinned over the window. Turning on the light, he takes in the room. There’s an unmade double bed, wardrobe, chest of drawers with a mirror, clothes strewn on the floor.
“Whose room is that?” he asks the sofa.
“Mine,” Denny says.
“You two share a bed?”
“None of your business,” Denny says.
“You going to arrest us for being gay?” Ian says.
“Homosexuality’s not a crime,” the DS says. “Used to be though.”
“Back in the good old days, eh, Sergeant Handcock?”
“Your words, not mine,” says Detective Sergeant Hancock, and he directs two of the constables to go through the room. He goes through Gina’s handbag and says, “We’ll take your phone as evidence and extract the information.”
“No,” says Gina.” I’ll unlock it. You can search it here and give it back to me. I’ve got nothing to hide.”
The DS looks through the messages and contacts and says, “Have you shared this information with anyone else?”
“No.”
He asks Denny and Ian, “You had a look through this cell phone?”
“No,” Denny says, “we respect each other’s privacy. And I’d appreciate it if you respected our privacy.”
“We’ve got good cause for being here,” says the DS.
“No you haven’t.”
“We’ll see,” says the DS, and demands their phones, which are handed up only after threats of arrest for obstruction. One of the constables places a step ladder under the manhole and climbs into the roof space with a flashlight to complete the search of the house. The other two search through the cars in the drive.
After the cops finally leave, Denny says, “Well, they didn’t find any stolen property, so they stole our phones.”
“What are you hiding on your phone?” Gina says, “Something incriminating?”
“I just don’t want to incriminate anyone else,” Denny says. “Anyway, I reckon they’re just bluffing. They’re too dumb to unlock a phone. We’ll get our phones back. I’ll get a lawyer. I’ll get Jackson onto it.”
Ian says he’s got to go to work and he is clearly pissed off with having his phone confiscated. He would have unlocked it, as Gina did, but that would have cast more suspicion on Denny for holding out.
Unlocking cell phones was pretty routine for the police techy and DS Hancock’s investigation focused on a few text messages sent to one JK. This turned out to be a helpful lead, which turned up not only some stolen goods but also a sizable quantity of Class A drugs and some unregistered firearms. Ian’s phone was returned to him but Denny’s was held as evidence. Denny followed through with getting a lawyer and Gina moved out just as she said she would. With the way things turned out, JK did not feel inclined to do Denny any favours, so he gave evidence which helped to expedite Denny’s conviction for burglary, and which also worked in his own favour when it came to sentencing. Denny, for his part, confirmed that Gina had not knowingly played any part in the burglaries.